Sure ppl will argue that you can find intructions on how to kill ppl and make bombs, BUT you can also find the instructions for putting together a 6.5 Douglar Fir color coded tree from WalMart that ya bought eight years ago and left to rot in the attic......thank you ppl of the internet!!!!
That's right, folks, for the first time in YEARS Goddess is slapping up a Christmas tree that's bigger than Charlie Brown's tree. And why, you ask? Because I have many things to be grateful for: my family, my job, my health...
Wait a minute. If I'm grateful I should be stuffing my face with mashed potatoes, gravy and turkey not slapping up a damn tree that the cat is already eyeballing for destruction!
Gawd, I feel like it's been forever since I've posted. Oh yeah, that's cuz it HAS been.
The other day an employee came into the office and asked me if I could help him sign up for Obama Care (yeah, as IF he cares...) because his computer skills were zilch. Even though I was incredibly busy checking out my email, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest accounts, I agreed to help out my fellow man. Hey, it's almost time for Santa to get here. This MIGHT BE the year I get my Chrissy doll!!
I started the lengthy process of signing up and setting up a profile, which basically consists of repeating the same bullshit over and over on several of the first pages: name, address, email address, birth date, phone, lather rinse repeat. After every page of information, it then asks you to verify what you just typed making the whole thing seem redundant.
Next, we were given the option to check to see if the guy qualified for low income rates. We were asked several questions and I inputted all of the information and then out of nowhere it told me to review the profile, which was odd because that was information covered in setting up the account. I reviewed the profile and noticed there was no way for me to move forward. Abso-freaking-lutely no button on the page to go backward or forward, so I clicked on "Get Insurance" at the top and, of course, it started me all through setting up the profile again.
I clicked on live chat and explained my situation to Jaime, who told me to set up a profile. Well, duh, Jaime, why didn't *I* think of that?! When I pointed out again, that I HAD set up a profile, Jaime informed me that the reason I couldn't move forward was because there were so many ppl using the site at the same time. Okay, lets think about this: if there were 900 million google users on blogger right now and I had no button that said "publish" on my page would it be because of high usage or because of software problems? Again, I oh so politely pointed out to Jaime that it had nothing to do with a high volume of users, it was because of a software glitch, and he told me that if I called in "right now" he could help me fill out the application over the phone. I asked him for his direct phone number and he was strictly chat. Fine. No phone sex for you, Jaime.
I logged out of chat and called the bug'ment, I mean gub'ment and explained the situation to knowledgeable Yvonne, who told me she would be happy to help me. The first thing we needed to do was set up a profile. Typical government. It's all about the profiling.
I explained AGAIN that I had done all of that and I was unable to move forward because there was no button on the page. Yvonne informed me that it was due to a high volume of users. I'm guessing that's the standard gub'ment line for all problems on this friggin' website. Yvonne told me the employee would have to call back later and she would 'help' him and that it shouldn't take long because we already set up the all important 'profile'. I told him to let me know how things went.
He called me later to say that after an hour and a half on the phone, he had insurance. I asked him why it had taken so long. Too many users on the website at the same time? Har. Har. Nay, it was because as Yvonne was talking to us about the application, she was also deleting all of it at the same time, requiring the employee to ....you guessed it.....set up a new profile!!
Now here's the thing that scares me: this is a website where you input all of your personal, confidential information. Exactly how many days before this inept piece of crap is hacked?
A Pennsylvania State Trooper has received one of the
highest awards in law enforcement for the actions he took to stop a man
who launched a deadly rampage last December, and ABC News has
exclusively obtained the unedited footage from the dash-cam that was
installed in the trooper's police cruiser.
It's a rare glimpse into the moments when police engage an active
shooter, and put their own lives on the line to potentially save others.
On the morning of Dec. 21, 2012, an unemployed, former trucker
allegedly walked into a church in Frankstown Township, Pa., and opened
fire on a woman decorating the building's walls for a children's
Christmas party. The man, Jeffrey Lee Michael, then allegedly killed two
others away from the church.
So I went to Lowe's this morning (aka The Scariest Place on Earth) and bought this handy dandy little toy...........
My husband feeds the birds, and while he does get peanuts for the squirrels, the blue jays have a tendency to swipe them. I haven't seen many squirrels in the yard lately--we used to have tons of them--so I figured this squirrel KOB bungee feeder might lure them back. You know, it's the milkshake that brings all the squirrels to my yard...so to speak.
I was reading the instructions and at the end it says "add a dab of peanut butter to entice feeding".
Squirrels are so damn lackadaisical about feeding that I now have to "entice" them to eat?!
I just made a special trip to The Scariest Place on Earth (ON FREAKING FATHER'S DAY where were grown men drooling over grills right out in front of the damn store!) and shelled out $15 to buy YOU squirrels a bungee, another big hunk of corn mix and a bag of corn cobs but nooooooooooooooooo, that's not good enough for you. I now have to freaking BEG you to eat my food!
Fuck that shit, squirrels!
Raccoons, allow me to introduce you to my raccoon KOB bungee and corn cob cake feeder mix....